The Sound Of One Hand Clapping
by Adyen
Summary: An Oneshot fic that I wrote after reading a very bad 'Yui awakens' fic. This fic twists that idea around a bit, and is actually interesting! Fairly humorous, really!


Check Bio for disclaimer.  
  
The Sound of One Hand Clapping An one-shot Evangelion Fic  
  
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It has been one week since Shinji recovered from being absorbed into his Eva. He couldn't understand what the big deal about his recovery was. If he wanted to be sadistic about it, he would have thought that they didn't want him to recover.  
  
"And so, when the water levels rose." His teacher droned on and on about Second Impact. The Third Child didn't really believe that was what happened, and probably two or three others in the classroom didn't either, but it was just so boring.  
  
As if I don't know Second Impact was caused by Adam. the stray thought entered his mind.  
  
He nodded to himself thoughtlessly before his eyes suddenly widen and looked around. Nope. Nobody was talking to him.  
  
He could have sworn that he heard someone telling him that Second Impact was caused by Adam just now.  
  
Shrugging to himself, he tried to refocus on imagining never having to pilot the Eva ever again, and maybe not get beaten up by Asuka today.  
  
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A day later, Shinji was sitting around the kitchen table doing some simple math problems.  
  
"Let's see. Question one." 42 "is 42. Simple enough." He wrote down the answer to the question and went onto the next one. "Let's see." 2 "2. Is it me, or are these simple?" He asked himself, knowing that there isn't anyone else around. Yes they are. "Yes they are."  
  
By the time Asuka returned home, Shinji had already finished his work and was sitting in front of the TV, relaxing.  
  
"I'm home!" She yelled as she took off her shoes.  
  
"Welcome back!" Shinji yelled back, not moving from his seat. "If you're hungry, there's some leftovers from last night in the fridge."  
  
"Whatever." Asuka muttered as she went into her room to change and drop her stuff.  
  
Wouldn't hurt to be polite to me if I was polite to you. "Wouldn't hurt if you were more polite." Shinji muttered to himself. He then rolled his eyes skywards and continued watching TV, completely uncaring of the redhead in the apartment.  
  
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Two days later, Shinji was sitting in the plug of Eva 01, getting ready for his first synch test since he was retrieved from it. It wasn't as if they were really activating it, but Gendo wanted to see if any of the pilots could still synch with it. And it seems that neither Asuka or Rei could.  
  
It's not like the Eva would accept them after being so close with me He thought, slightly confused as to where the thought came from in the first place, but shrugged it off as being part of the weirdness of piloting a twenty stories high robot battling creatures named after religious icons.  
  
"Alright, Shinji." Ritsuko's voice said from the radio system. "We're starting in three, two, one."  
  
The familiar startup images flashed across the plug as the synch started. Strangely, he couldn't feel the pressure 'normally' associated with the process. He felt himself smile reassuringly to the image of Ritsuko on the plug, but he only felt a small amount of confidence that was put into the smile.  
  
"My god." Maya's voice came from outside the screen. "Synch rate is at ninety and rising."  
  
Ritsuko immediately shuffled over to where Maya is and grabbed some printouts that were starting to reach the floor.  
  
"Ninety eight, ninety nine, one hundred, hundred and one." The hushed tones in the backgrounds were starting to make Shinji nervous, but for some reason, he felt that everyone was going fine, and he shouldn't worry about it.  
  
"Shinji, how do you feel?" Misato asked, her face filling up the screen.  
  
"Fine. I don't feel anything wrong." Shinji said in a slightly dreamy look. Tired. He was so tired. Maybe a quick nap while they were doing all their mechanical testing things.  
  
"Sempai! His brainwaves are slowing down!" A far away voice said, though he thought it sounded somewhat frantic.  
  
"Abort the test! Eject the plug now!" Another voice yelled. It was getting hard to hear anything, since he's almost asleep now.  
  
"We're trying, but the commands are frozen! It looks like some of the circuits aren't receiving the codes or are disconnected!"  
  
"Fix them!"  
  
"We're trying to bypass, but the wires." the voice faded off as Shinji slept in the warmth of the plug.  
  
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Wake up now.  
  
Shinji jolted awake without his usual 'warm-up' time. His first sight was a plain white ceiling that he recognized from the NERV hospital.  
  
Turning his head to the left, he noticed that Asuka was sleeping on a chair besides the bed. Not surprising, seeing that it was near three in the morning.  
  
Confirming that he was wearing something other than a hospital gown, which means it was still the same day, he slid out on the other side of the bed and went into the washroom, relieving the pressure.  
  
Heading back into the room, he picked up some spare blankets from beside the door and put them near the foot of the bed, then picking up Asuka gently and placing her on the bed.  
  
After covering her up with the blankets on the bed, Shinji picked up the spare blankets, made a small wall between him and the redhaired roommate for the night, then went to sleep without fuss or waste of time.  
  
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Four hours later, Shinji's eyes opened again and he slowly got up from the bed, draping the remaining blankets around Asuka, he walked outside in search for a nurse.  
  
Finding one, he quickly explained that he needed some toothbrushes and toothpaste, since he noticed that there weren't any in the washroom last night. Saying a quick thanks, he quickly returned to his room and into the private washroom to brush his teeth.  
  
He had just finished washing up when he noticed Asuka waking up in the mirror. Picking up the toothbrush that he got for her, he went out and said, "Good morning Asuka. How did you sleep?"  
  
"Fine." She mumbled out from beneath the blankets before suddenly freezing. You could practically hear the gears turning in her head as she finally realized where she was and where she was last night.  
  
She was just about to explode in embarrassment and anger when she heard Shinji say, "You should be careful about sleeping on a chair. You might catch a cold or twist a muscle."  
  
Asuka freezes again for a moment, trying to figure out if she really heard that or not. She confusedly mutters out, "I don't need you to worry about me." before getting up to meet Shinji hold out a toothbrush at her, smiling lightly. "Hear. There's toothpaste in the washroom."  
  
Hesitatingly reaching for it, Asuka decides to just brush her teeth and figure it out later.  
  
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During the rest of the week, nobody but Asuka noticed that Shinji didn't just do what he was told, but simply did things that was downright Rei-ish. If he was spineless before, now he's just mechanical.  
  
Her synch tests weren't that bad either. For some reason, ever since that little episode with Shinji in the hospital, she's been feeling more relaxed and doing better with the tests. In fact, if it wasn't for Shinji's strange, almost robotic behavior, she would have said everything was fine.  
  
Not that he acts like a robot, she muses. But rather, he's polite to anyone and anything, even if they (or she) were rude to them while continuing to do what he was doing. She really doubts that anyone except her would have noticed the changes in him. She was about to look for Rei and ask her about it, Rei being the only other person who wouldn't say that she's insane, when the 15th appeared.  
  
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Misato looked at the bridge personnel with a hint of anger. Here she was, having a perfectly nice day and an angel had to appear and disrupt it. All three Children had been sent to their Evas, though 01 was still frozen.  
  
"Status report!" She barked out, still feeling annoyed.  
  
"The Angel is currently holding geosynchronous orbit above the geofront."  
  
"Unit 0 and 02 are ready to be launched."  
  
"How the hell are was supposed to fight something that's in space?" Three guesses as to who this is.  
  
"When you launch, head for the weapons bunker in A3. There should be two high energy positron rifles there." Misato said, looking at Ritsuko, who merely smiled and shrugged. "You'll both have to fire at the same time, since our resident genius said that one isn't going to be enough to pierce the Angel's AT Field."  
  
Ritsuko cut in here. "We still don't know how it will attack, but judging from the distance, probably some sort of energy projectile weapon. Hopefully, you'll be able to dodge it, but we're hoping that you take it down in one shot. 01 is still under bakelite freeze, and we're don't want to activate it unless necessary."  
  
"Understood." Came two female replies.  
  
"Shinji, how are you holding up?" Misato asked.  
  
"No problems here." He said, not really looking up at the camera.  
  
"Sorry Shinji, but it's the commander's orders."  
  
"I understand."  
  
"Alright. Eva, launch!"  
  
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The mission was a horrible failure from the beginning, Asuka reflected as she entered the final gates that separate her from what she was told to find.  
  
Not moments after they reached the weapon bunker, the Magi detected an energy buildup coming from the Angel, and Rei had pushed 02 away from where they were, just seconds before a pale yellow beam smashed into unit 0 and where 02 was moments before.  
  
Asuka could hear something about mental contamination over the airwaves, but she was too mad to do anything other than grab a rifle and start shooting at the Angel. Unfortunately for her, Ritsuko's assessments of the Angel's AT Field were correct, and a single rifle wouldn't pierce through the Field.  
  
Seconds after that, should heard Misato yelling something about 01 going completely silent and they couldn't get Shinji through the comm. lines at all. When she asked what's happening, all Misato said was that they just couldn't get Shinji to respond, and the cameras were showing that Eva 01 has just simply shut down. She was about to ask for more when the Commander suddenly told her to head into the Central Dogma, which was actually just the core of the Geofront where they held a weapon that could destroy the 15th.  
  
She gasped as she finally got a clear sight of what was inside. If it wasn't for the fact that she was inside LCL, she was pretty sure she would have lost her lunch.  
  
"Second Child." Gendo Ikari's voice came over the private channel. "You are not to tell anyone what you see here, nor are you to touch anything other than the Lance, understood?"  
  
Asuka swallowed and slowly nodded, even though Gendo wouldn't have seen her anyways. "Un. understood."  
  
There was no reply. Nor did she expect one.  
  
Remembering that Rei was still on the surface facing the 15th, she quickly sloshed her way through the LCL pool and grabbed the Lance, not even bothering to look back as she quickly made her way to the elevator back to the surface.  
  
The moment she reached the elevator, she re-opened the channel to Misato. "I'm heading back up."  
  
"Roger that." Maya's voice confirmed. "Rei isn't going to hold out much longer, and we're ejecting her plug." She trailed off as a loud beeping was heard through the sound only transmission. A near frantic voice of Maya suddenly shrieked out, "MAGI is detecting a second blue pattern! IT'S INSIDE THE GEOFRONT!!!!"  
  
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The day has officially gone to hell, Misato thought.  
  
"WHERE?!" Yelled an angry and frightened Ritsuko running quickly to where Maya was.  
  
"It's. it coming from 01!" A now very close to hysterical Maya yelled as she finally got the location of the MAGI.  
  
"WHAT?!!!" This time, everyone was surprised to hear the shout, especially coming from the normally calm and collected Commander of NERV. For a moment, there was silence as everyone tried to process the idea that Gendo Ikari yelled, but that silence was broken when one of the other technicians, Makoto, suddenly yelled out, "01 is breaking through the bakelite!"  
  
"How?" This time, it was Ritsuko asking the question, and Maya answered it.  
  
"It seems to be focusing its AT Field as a knife and cutting through the entire chunk of bakelite AND the bulkheads!"  
  
"Rokubungi."  
  
The entire bridge crew froze when the voice came through the communications system. It was easily recognized as Shinji's voice, but somehow. It just didn't SOUND right. For the three people who have heard that name before, it was practically the sound of their doom.  
  
"Where did you hear that name?" Fuyutsuki demanded, forgetting for a moment that this wasn't just Shinji they were dealing with.  
  
"Oh sensei. How could've I forgotten you?" Shinji's voice drolly asked, with a definite female undertone in it. "Oh Rokubungi. Aren't you going to talk to me?"  
  
"This. this is impossible!" Gendo sputtered as he slowly leaned forwards, forgetting to readjust his glasses. "You couldn't have heard that name before!"  
  
"Oh really." Shinji's voice sarcastically replied. "But how could I not know it, father? Or rather, 'husband'?" The word 'husband' was completely flat and devoid of any emotion, but everyone could easily feel the anger in the word.  
  
It was in this moment that 01 finally crashed through the bulkhead separating it and the rest of the NERV/Geofront. A visual image of 01 flashed open in front of everyone, showing that the Eva was no longer bound by any sort of mechanical device other than those that kept it moving and the plug safe. It slowly walked towards where the bridge is, as if it had all the time in the world.  
  
"We've got a lot of catching up to do." Shinji's voice continued. "It's been over ten years since we last touched. Remember the last time we did? That good luck kiss just before we started the synch test?"  
  
Gendo was looking at the image of 01 in horror while Ritsuko watched in morbid fascination.  
  
"But. how?" He sputtered, trying to make sense of something that should be impossible. The scientist nodded in curiosity, knowing that she's probably going to die today.  
  
"It's really simple." Shinji's voice said. "My poor son has been in synch with me ever since he got his body back, so I merely synched with HIM in reverse, and I slowly gained control over what he was thinking and doing. The S2 organ provided more than enough energy for me to do it, even when dormant."  
  
"THAT'S SICK!" Misato yelled out, snapping out of her trance. She had been completely catatonic ever since hearing Shinji say that he's his mother. "You would use your own son like a puppet just to get revenge on your husband?!"  
  
"Oh don't worry." Shinji, or rather, his mother, said. "Shinji's just sleeping. In fact, I have to thank you for caring for my child for the short time that he was with you. You cared for him more than anyone else has for the past ten years, and I'll make sure you'll be properly rewarded once I initiate the Third Impact."  
  
Misato was blushing in apparent embarrassment up to the moment when 'Third Impact' was mentioned. "Initiate. Third. Impact?"  
  
"Of course!" A somewhat chirpy voice of Shinji's said. "Contrary to popular belief, Impacts does not just 'wipe everything out', but rather changes things on a grand scale. Planetary, even. The dinosaurs didn't managed to prevent a human made Impact, and it changed the majority of them into smaller, less dangerous lizards. Second Impact focused mainly on geographic changes, and little amounts of changes to humans." Yui paused for a moment for dramatic tension. "My Third Impact is going to change life as it is, and my son is finally going to be happy for once." She said with such determination that everyone who has heard her voice before could imagine her saying it in front of them.  
  
Fuyutsuki was the first one to snap out of the completely stunned state. "Where's Rei and Asuka?" He yelled out.  
  
Shigeru blinked once and quickly checked his board. "Rei has been ejected from Unit 0 and is currently being retrieved. The Angel is not continuing its attack. Asuka. I can't locate Asuka! Sensors are offline from sections D-17 to H-12!"  
  
Maya quickly checked her boards as well. "When 01 broke through the walls, it must have disconnected some power cables. I'm not getting any sort of feedback from those area."  
  
"Damn it!" Makoto said. "Eva 01 ETA in one minute. Is there anything that can stop it?"  
  
"The Eva is not accepting any signals!" Ritsuko yelled in frustration as she pounded in the commands. "I can't even get a visual!"  
  
"Then how are we hearing him?" Misato asked.  
  
"There's a separate transmitter installed." Makoto replied. "I think Shinji must have added that sometime during this week. I'm surprised that nobody noticed it before."  
  
Gendo was currently in shock, muttering Yui's name over and over again; unwilling to believe that his beloved wife would try to kill him by possessing her son who is currently controlling a twenty story high mecha that can potentially destroy the world.  
  
Suddenly, they felt a tremor. The forward wall of the bridge cracked, and they stared at it in horror.  
  
The second tremor caused a giant purple hand to crash through the walls, spraying dust and debits onto those in the lower area of the bridge.  
  
The third was caused by said arm yanking out the wall, showing the now unrestrained 01 in front of them, its mouth open slightly as if to eat them all.  
  
Without anything being said, everyone scrambled for one of the exits; or in Masato and Ritsuko's case, they just moved to the back of the room, determined to see this through to the end.  
  
"Hello Rokubungi." The external speakers were still on the Eva, obviously. "Do you want to do this the hard way, or the easy way?"  
  
The commander was still muttering Yui's name and off in his dream land where they could love each other for all eternity.  
  
The second in command wasn't. "He's all yours." He said, jumping off platform that normally held the commander and second commander, and joining Ritsuko in the last show of his lifetime.  
  
"Thank you Professor." Shinji's voice came over the speaker, though it was obvious that Yui is still in control.  
  
The moment Fuyutsuki landed, the giant hand reached out and grabbed Gendo, pulling him and the arm outside of the bridge. The three remaining NERV personnel looked at each other for a moment before Fuyutsuki asked Misato, "So. got any beer? Might as well go off roaring drunk."  
  
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"So, we're finally alone at last." Shinji's voice came over the external speaker. Gendo had finally snapped out of his little Yui fantasy, seeing that being nearly crushed by an extremely large pair of hands is very painful.  
  
"Yui." Gendo wheezed out. "Why are you doing this? I'm trying my best to see you again."  
  
"Well. If you really want to know..." Gendo nodded quickly, hoping to stall for some time. Stall for WHAT, he didn't know, but its got to be better than dying immediately. "You see, when I first merged with the Eva, it was complete chaos. I had no sense of self or anything at all. I couldn't feel, I couldn't see, I couldn't hear, and it was driving me crazy. If that had lasted any longer than it did, I probably would have."  
  
"So, what happened?" Gendo pushed, hoping that Yui would talk more and maybe even spare him his life.  
  
"Then, I found a dying soul." Shinji's voice said. "It had been forced out of its body, and drifting between the boundaries of life and death, its so called 'AT Field' fluctuating and starting to lose its potency. I latched onto it as a lifesaver, the one steady point that I can focus on, and it in return, feed off me and re-stabilized itself within me."  
  
"You don't mean." Gendo's eyes widened in horror, realizing his plans might have been completely foiled even from the beginning.  
  
"Yes 'dear'," Yui sarcastically replied, "it was the soul of Lillith, who's body was pierced with the Lance, and destroying her AT Field and sense of self. She would have left the mortal plane, or went into that doll of yours, if not for me latching onto her."  
  
"Slowly, I realized that years has passed by since I was first absorbed by the Eva. Lillith and I had a working system going, and we slowly grew closer as time passed by. I was able to feel through poor Rei's body, though never able to control or influence anything of hers. She was an independent soul, seeing that Lillith was never absorbed by her."  
  
A pause. "Then Shinji came."  
  
"You have no idea how angry I was to learn what my poor son went through. After the first time he synched with me, I could do everything with him that I could do with Rei, but that was all. I realized that I was linked to him must closer than I was linked to your doll because of a connection in the soul, rather than a connection in the flesh, seeing that I don't have one anymore. But all I could have done was occasionally give him a sort of feeling and watch through him.  
  
"Until the 14th gave me his power source."  
  
A quiet silence passed through the area as Gendo tried to understand what was being said by Yui.  
  
"I completely shocked poor Zeruel when he, as much as I can be called she, found out what I was. It gave me the chance to steal his power core, and giving me enough power and self reliance. Then, it was a matter of bringing Shinji into the Eva, and slowly connecting his soul to mine. I know it would work, since I have the knowledge to do so.  
  
"You see, Lillith haven't been just feeding off me. She was ASSIMULATING me to fill in the holes that the Lance created in her soul. I am now as much part of Lillith as Lillith is part of me, and I have no intentions to go back into that body down in Central Dogma after realizing what fun I could have in a human body."  
  
She paused for a minute in her little explanation to look at Gendo, who had become completely white and seems to be on the edge of fainting. "I should thank Arael for distracting everyone." The Eva looked up towards the ceiling of the underground geofront.  
  
. Just in time to see a red knee smash into the Eva's head!  
  
"GIVE SHINJI BACK HIS BODY!" Asuka yelled in anger, not noticing that Gendo had fallen from the Eva's hands, though luckily into a tall tree. "YOU'RE DEAD, SO STAY DEAD!!!"  
  
"Ah come on, Asuka!" Shinji's voice came from the Eva. "I'm alright."  
  
"SHUT UP!!!" Asuka screamed as she charged the purple mecha with the Lance, not hearing Ritsuko's yelling.  
  
Sheer moments before the Lance impacted the Eva, a large red orb appeared in front of the place where the Lance is going to impact, and Asuka realized what Ritsuko was trying to tell her.  
  
"YOU'LL START THIRD IMPACT IF YOU ATTACK 01 WITH THE LANCE!!!!"  
  
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As a white orb started to fill NERV HQ, SEELE was watching the entire event happening from their meeting place.  
  
"This wasn't expected." Someone said.  
  
"No, it wasn't." Another replied, moments before the white light managed to reach the room, just seconds after growing from NERV.  
  
"I don't believe she won." Kaoru muttered before vanishing in a stream of red slashes, using his AT Field to leave before the light touched him.  
  
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It was a nice morning. The winds were blowing, the sun was shining. It wasn't too hot, and when it did get warm, there was a cool breeze blowing to cool down.  
  
A man and woman sat on a hill, watching two teens laying down below them. Both pairs had just kissed their respected partners, and were currently enjoying the day.  
  
"I don't believe you won again." The man said. "I was sure you were out of the picture."  
  
The woman giggled. "I was surprised as well when she grabbed onto me. Or rather, when I grabbed onto her. We're more or less the same person now."  
  
"Is that why you recreated the world like it is?" The man asked. "My Sons and Daughters are pretty annoyed that you won again. They were sure that they would be the one to reach the prize, even though they didn't know I was actually in his hand."  
  
The woman nodded, having pushed herself up with her elbows. "Shinji is important to me now. Though all of humanity is my children, he is my Son, and if he is happy, it will be enough."  
  
Down below, Shinji turned towards the red-haired girl beside him and gave her a light peck on the cheeks, then moving onto her mouth. The woman and man merely looked down and chuckled.  
  
"So, is that why you took her body and merely made it grow into maturity?" The man asked.  
  
"I told you, I was not going back to the one down in the 'basement' after I found out how much fun humans can have." Lillith said. "And since I won, I could have anything I want until the next round."  
  
"I know, I know." Adam said with his hands up. "Now, since your son is happy, let's see if I could make you even happier."  
  
The two of them slowly leaned towards each other, and softly kissed each other in the lips.  
  
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Author's Notes: It was a short oneshot fic idea that I got from reading a VERY bad Eva fic about Yui wakening. I hope you enjoyed it, cause I certainly had a laugh writing this. 


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